I’m one thing of a Christmas music trivia savant, having collected a whole bunch upon a whole bunch of bizarre vacation music throughout quite a few playlists I curate for no actual cause besides the consolation kitsch typically brings me this time of yr.
This veritable treasure trove of Christmas tunes was put to good use final yr, once I ranked and reviewed each single RuPaul Christmas tune that had ever been launched, totaling nearly 100 authentic tracks that I meticulously combed for traits, themes and vibes. Instead of dipping again into the drag queen vacation pond, I expanded the search this season to incorporate each bizarre diva observe I might discover and consider for PAPER’s latest yuletide playlist: “A Very Diva Christmas.”
Don’t let the title idiot our expensive readers, nevertheless. These will not be the basic Christmas carols society hears in CVS or on the church service dad or mum’s drag a few of us too every season. These are deep cuts within the diva archives, from Lady Gaga’s cult basic “Christmas Tree” to Girls Aloud rockabilly “Not Tonight Santa.” There’s additionally the uncomfortably bizarre “Mistletoe Bikini” from Courtney Stodden and Kylie Minogue’s sexually charged “Hot in December,” and that is earlier than one will get to Blondie’s rock-rap fusion b-side “Yuletide Throwdown” with Fab 5 Freddy or Big Freedia’s “Tis The Season.”
The cousin stroll on the holidays has been a lot meme’d of late, and I’d suggest another this Christmas Eve: the diva stroll. Smoke a joint, go away the home with a wine glass like Rihanna, and stroll across the neighborhood all of us hated rising up in with the sickly candy tunes of the Spice Girls’ forgotten vacation discography.
Most importantly, do not forget that no one is ever actually alone on Christmas. Sure, the home could be empty, the household estranged, the boyfriend out of city, the chums again residence within the too-big mansions they’re uncomfortable to confess their households dwell in. But there’s all the time Christmas music, and flicks, and the festive songs that Cher often drops to remind everybody she’s nonetheless a diva. I imply, how can anybody hear “DJ Play a Christmas Song” and never really feel lifted by the spirit of the season?
That’s me being constructive, anyway. It’s nearly the one factor I can do lately, with these grey skies outdoors and a heating invoice respiration down my neck.
Just know that PAPER employees are preserving each reader in our hearts this Christmas. We love and depend on the enjoyment, laughter and everlasting font of creativity each certainly one of you brings into our lives. Thank you for sticking with us one other yr, even when we topic you to downright unlistenable music every now and then.
Merry Mariah Carey Christmas to all, and to all, a cheerful Destiny’s Child vacation!